relax and breathe easy if you choose to read this. I am 28 years old and
"diagnosed" schizophrenic. This began at 13 years old. I was praying to god trying to see if "he" could hear me. Not receiving an answer I moved into the space of my mind without any astral projection knowledge or training. I found that i could travel quite far into space. But I was still not finding any proof of Gods' existence so upon reaching my limit in distance I strained until I felt a pop of cartilage in my head. It was then that the very irritated voice of my mother said "you're god stupid". In shock I receded my projection and heard no more for years, and neither spoke of it. After minimal incidence I attended college at 17 years of age (early entry). And around my 18Th birthday used the drug acid. After a busy night I retired to bed, and bored I decided to attempt to see the infamous pink elephants. Being denied once again I strained, but this time A square grid of lightning scrolled down in front of my face and then began a rush of schizophrenia which was to last for years. But in around 2004 the unpleasantness of the phenomenon forced me to fight back astrally. I finally decided to travel to the activity source. And I found my mother. Through examination, and memory flashbacks I saw that while developing she would astrally visit the fetus. Using sonic vibration in the projection she fused herself until she could see, hear, and manipulate. A lightning like shock exists between us. I have felt its pain, and in moments of combat to separate us, she has conceded that she feels this pain also and receives it regularly due to her violation of space. We have not physically spoken and she has cut off communication with me. The trump card in this battle is her relationship with this "lightning". To lessen it she must dominate more of my physical space, as letting go would allow nature to take its course though I still manipulate the lightning to help myself because when she gets enough of it she calms down. She relates as a feminine victim of the world and resorts to my displeasure to ease her own discomfort. A scary part is my skin. I've noticed the merging and as I age my skin is destroying her fusing, it is changing texture regularly. I can smell the death of it and my lips are included. The difference is leaving dead areas and I often bite through those areas with little blood and very quick healing. The part I have the most trouble with is tactile. The most domination has occurred in my head and genitalia. In my head when i roll my eyes back i can feel a very dense blockage. And genitally for torture and prime lightning protection she often bothers my genitalia. I feel uterine squeezing quite often, and it makes me wish to urinate. Any ideas...
