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j_o_jamesPosted: Mar 07, 2010 - 18:31

Level: 0
CS Original

You too can win arguments. Simply follow these rules:

- Make things up!

Suppose, in the Peruvian economy argument, you are trying to prove Peruvians are underpaid, a position you base solely on the fact that YOU are underpaid, and you’re damned if you’re going to let a bunch of Peruvians be better off. DON’T say: “I think Peruvians are underpaid.” Say: “The average Peruvian’s salary in 1981 dollars adjusted for the revised tax base is $1,452.81 per annum, which is $836.07 before the mean gross poverty level.”

NOTE: Always make up exact figures.

If an opponent asks you where you got your information, make THAT up, too. Say: “This information comes from Dr. Hovel T. Moon’s study for the Buford Commission published May 9, 1982. Didn’t you read it?” Say this in the same tone of voice you would use to say “You left your soiled underwear in my bath house.”

- Use meaningless but weighty-sounding words and phrases.

Memorize this list:

Let me put it this way
In terms of
Per se
As it were
So to speak

You should also memorize some Latin abbreviations such as “Q.E.D.,” “e.g.,” and “i.e.” These are all short for “I speak Latin, and you do not.”

Here’s how to use these words and phrases. Suppose you want to say:

“Peruvians would like to order appetizers more often, but they don’t have enough money.”

You never win arguments talking like that. But you WILL win if you say: “Let me put it this way. In terms of appetizers vis-a-vis Peruvians qua Peruvians, they would like to order them more often, so to speak, but they do not have enough money per se, as it were. Q.E.D.”

Only a fool would challenge that statement!

- Use snappy and irrelevant comebacks.

You need an arsenal of all-purpose irrelevant phrases to fire back at your opponents when they make valid points. The best are:

You’re begging the question.
You’re being defensive.
Don’t compare apples and oranges.
What are your parameters?

This last one is especially valuable. Nobody, other than mathematicians, has the vaguest idea what “parameters” means.

Here’s how to use your comebacks:

You say - As Abraham Lincoln said in 1873…
Your opponents says - Lincoln died in 1865.
You say - You’re begging the question.


You say - Liberians, like most Asians…
Your opponents says - Liberia is in Africa.
You say - You’re being defensive.

- Compare your opponent to Adolf Hitler.

This is your heavy artillery, for when your opponent is obviously right and you are spectacularly wrong. Bring Hitler up subtly. Say: “That sounds suspiciously like something Adolf Hitler might say” or “You certainly do remind me of Adolf Hitler.”


#1 [ Top | Reply to Topic ]
Edward L WinstonPosted: Mar 07, 2010 - 20:10

President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho: porn star and five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion!

Level: 150
CS Original


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JoePosted: Mar 07, 2010 - 21:43

Level: 8
CS Original

That's how dunkers try to "debunk" CTs. They say Hitler was a CT.
Itz Knot Twoo

Mod edit: Stop posting the same stupid, unfunny horse shit to every thread.

#3 [ Top | Reply to Topic ]
j_o_jamesPosted: Mar 08, 2010 - 17:41

Level: 0
CS Original

"That's how dunkers try to 'debunk' CTs. They say Hitler was a CT."

You’re being defensive. Adolf Hilter openly admitted a renouncement of conspiracy theories in a public document vis-a-vis the Council of Switzerland on August 13, 1939. Let me put it this way, Hilter's statements, so to speak, regarding national imperialism qua the dictatorship offensive refute any idea that admonishments of conspiracy theories in terms of his agenda was accountable in the grand scheme of things. Q.E.D.

#4 [ Top | Reply to Topic ]
Agent MattPosted: Mar 08, 2010 - 17:42

Genuine American Monster

Level: 70
CS Original

Yeah I don't think debunkers and skeptics are the ones guilty of constantly resorting to Ad Hitlerums.

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